Thursday, June 4, 2009

Bibical Changes, Beautiful Outcome

Phase 1: Withering of What Was

"its almost been a year since i last blog. i'm glad i have not lost my grammatical competence!"

Ian, 11.04pm, June 4th, 2009

i've been on a hell of a journey since late-2008.
and i've come into realization that i've pretty much fucked up the past eight months of my life.

eight months, spent in blindness, denial, stupidity.
diminished finances and decimated relationships with friends and family.
time went by swiftly before i was even aware of the abyss that i've plunged into.

a heart broken time and time again;

i) Christmas
ii) New Years Eve
iii) Chinese New Year

iv) Valentine's Day

v) My Birthday

in addition to an eviscerated heart and shattered social ties, i experience a hard fall academically, with failing grades all over me. i've lost the trust of so many, i was beyond help.

i fell into a state of depression. (guess what, i gained weight!) i withdrew and refused to encounter anyone but a handful. i felt i was beyond salvation (total emoness, yeaaaah) i suffocated at the dawn of each day dealing with a monster so cold.

*suicidal threats and gang threats?*

been there, got that. HATED it

i cleaned the wound of a suicide attempt on my birthday and had a knee bruised by an aluminium bat days after my birthday. where's the justice in that?

however, in the midst of my suffering, i am thankful for one heaven sent individual who has been there to lift me up when i collapsed, and be the light that illuminated the path for me to get back on my feet.

a blessing so dear, i cherish perpetual till man breathes his last breath; Denise Cornwell Neowcharurn! (smile)

she's mine, mine onlyyyy~

Phase 2: Blossoming of a Beautiful Relationship

"where do i start? so much happened so quickly! and i'm happy with all that has occured!"

Ian, 11.27pm, June 4th, 2009

i'd first like to thank a dear, dear friend of mine Chong Shien (if he ever reads this), for paying for my most delicable lunch at Pavilion on my birthday, as well as paying for the ticket of the movie i was suppose to watch (failed to watch due to suicidal threats).

the most blessed day in over 3 years, God has ever granted me!

*drum roll*

March 13th, 2009
i met Denise for the first time in my life, after countless failed plans.
i've had many firsts with her, and i'll never forget each and every single one of them.
this day changed everything.
this day was the genesis of a great metamorphosis.
it occured to me, it was time to take whats mine and regain the person whom i used to be.

and this was also the day i had the most awesome make out of my life!

and since that day, i've not went a day without her call.

first date.

"je t'aime, mon cheri"

in late-March, i somehow confessed my feelings for Denise in front of her friend, Abigail, her sister, Nadine and her uncle, Pbertrand at a birthday party in their house in Subang Jaya.

there is no need for blaming me for being a total jackass, 20 shots worth of tequila and vodka can work wonders on someone.

April 3rd, 2009

i confessed my love officially to Denise at Sunway Lagoon.
the moment was oh so right.
we were swimming in the pool, and i had a sudden idea.

this next event was not planned, and the idea had not been conjured beforehand.

after our first date on March 13th, Denise and i traded rings as a pledge to see each other again. i happen to wear the ring that she gave me religiously.
and we were fooling around in the water, i asked her to hold still and watch what i will do next.

i took off the ring that she gave me.
(which was on the ring finger of my left hand)

i went down on one knee, UNDERWATER.
(self-explanatory. it means i held my breath!)
i slipped the ring onto HER ring finger on her left hand.
(i'm a hopeless romantic, don't patronize me)

and asked her to be mine.
(cheesy i know. once again, don't patronize me)

i did this multiple times for her to get it. i don't know whether or not she was trying to personify what the Celcom advertisement board was trying to express but it worked on me.

for those who don't know what i mean, hope this rings a few bells;
I heard him the first time. I pretended i didn't hear him. I wanted to hear him propose again and again.

for those under the Celcom line, here's a good piece of advice; NEVER propose underwater if you wish not to face these consequences.

its official.

Phase 3: Recuperate, and Recovery

its been two months since i got out of 'purgatory'. and now i'm well on my way to recovery. however i still have a few road blocks ahead of me.

i've gained a ton of weight so i've gotta work on that. time to incinerate those fats!
i'm still having financial difficulties but it won't be long before i've settled my debts and be able to have money to spend on my self again.

but progress made in my life has been remarkable lately.
i've finally rekindled my relationship with my family. i'm talking to my mom again.
i'm cooking alot more often now. i have time to refine my culinary skills.
my mindset is back where its suppose to be and i'm more determined that ever now.
don't get me wrong, i still want a tattoo.
i've found my friends again!

and i've met a bunch of great people;

Zen-Li, Sean Mervin, Alastair, Matthew, Louis, Firdaus aka FiFi, Daniel, Ambrose, Shen, Nicholas, Sharmistha and Mechaaaa!

Sharmistha aka ShaShaaa (crazy diva alter-ego of Denise)
Marissa aka Mecha (a lady after my own heart!)

happy to know ya'll!

personally, i would like to convey my sincerest gratitude to:

Denise; for finally being a part of my life after 3 long years!

JuYi; dearest sister of mine, thank you for being so understanding!

Celine; thank you for being there when i had trouble dealing with my family!

Jessica; thank you for being there in my times of trouble time and time again, and talking to me when i need a friend most!

Caryn; thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and cheering me up even during my 'disappearance'. you were my lucky star, i'll never forget you!

Eunice; thank you for tolerating all those unreplied text messages and so on! i had tough times.

Adrian; my ever faithful brother through thick and thin. i always knew you had my back. thank you!

J Chia; you're never forgotten, dude. always have, always will be my brotha-from-anotha-mutha!

Jeremy; thank you, man. for your understanding, your prayers, everything!

Terrence; thank you for being my partner-in-crime from the beginning of A-levels. thanks for being there for me through the day everytime i fucked up in life. i'm still up for snooker and 'cheesi-gook-fan'!

Min Xen; thank you, for helping me deal with my troubles and Denise's. you're the best man!
Sophie; thank you for being one of the few people to show concern towards me in college when i was having difficulties. i truly appreciate it!

Tracy; thank you for your understanding, tutoring, and humor when i needed it most!

so much to say, so little time. i've got an exam tomorrow. hope i'm ready.

whoever who's reading my blog, brace yourself your a culinary and lingustic ventureee~

Ian ish back from blogging hiatus!

look at me happy again =)

"see me real soooon~"

Ian, 12.51am, June 5th, 2009